I was on the train today and I must say, I was struck byd the statement "opposites attract" and I must say I was struck by the inaccuracy of that statement. Of course it may have been spurred on by the fact I had someone who really was the opposite of me, on the train riding alongside me. I must say I did not feel particularly attracted to her, if anything it was irritation and frustration I felt. I really would think that the closer you are in temperament and taste the better you will get along, now people might say that the relationship might get boring and stale but surely its has got to be better than disagreeing on every single thing, firstly I don't see how that would develop into a relationship, and secondly if you did you surely wouldn't have anything left except for the physical attraction since you would disagree on every single thing.
Now perhaps I might change this statement, perhaps a new term should be coined, 'fundamentally similar opposites attract", because frankly I really don't think that people you have a different world view from you surely you will never get along with them, because neither of you can relate to the other person's view, since they're diametrically opposite, however if you were to have a similar situation with someone who was fundamentally similar to you, then surely hopefully be able to see where they're coming from, since you both are coming from the same side, its just that they've interpreted the situation differently.
However, I was talking to my aunt about this, and she said more important than anything else in any relationship, is mutual acceptance. Opposites and such dont't really matter, unless they're huge fundamental ones, and even then acceptance helps more than anything else.
Definitely something to think about, I really would think that more similar you are the better, but i'm sure they're people out there believe differently from me. I'd really like to hear from people who are in a couple, and see what they're thoughts are.
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hey man, i quite enjoyed reading your musings. about this one, i'd say im inclined to agree with you that the slogan "opposites attract" is just an example of good old folk wisdom and wives tales and social cliche but cannot neccessarily be true. it may be in certain circumstances but i'd think that the more similar you are, the more you get along, that's what seems to make sense to me.
ReplyDeletethat said though, it may be true that if the two ppl are too similar, they may start seeing too much of their own self in their lover and this may be a cause of discomfort if the person is insecure and not too comfortable with the truth about themselves.